Blog Posts: abortion
Sweet, Soft-Spoken Client
Emerald was a sweet, soft-spoken young woman who did not want to disappoint her parents with an unplanned pregnancy. She never envisioned herself in this situation. She lives with her parents, attends school, and her life is in order. Her ultrasound showed she was 7 ½ weeks pregnant and at her request, a registered nurse walked her through what the abortion options at that stage would be like.
All she kept thinking about was that her parents would kick her out. She also wasn’t sure the father of the baby is the one for her and doesn’t believe he will stick around. Emerald said, “…I don’t want to live my life knowing I had an abortion, but my parents will probably kick me out when they find out I’m pregnant. I feel everything is against me and my only choice is abortion.”
After the ultrasound, we sat down and Emerald took a deep breath. I was able to walk her through different scenarios and take a realistic look at her circumstances. Would her parents really kick her out? Would they allow her to live on the streets? Emerald was able to see that her fear was driving the abortion. Yes, her parents are going to be upset, but most likely will support her and the new baby.
As she left, she hadn’t made a firm choice. She needed to think about it a bit. I told her things have a way of changing when we are more calm and that we would be here for her anytime she needed to come in and talk... no matter what she decided.
I later heard from Emerald and she thanked me for talking to her about the options for her and her baby. She now sees a light at the end of the tunnel and looks forward to holding her baby.
When “Jessie” came to PCC, she was very conflicted about her pregnancy, which was her 4th. She is in her mid 20’s and she already has two children. She was worried about not being able to give her other kids the things she considered they need. On the other hand, Jessie is still feeling bad about the child she aborted five years ago. Her entire family including her husband and friends encouraged her to have this baby.
While weighing the risks, benefits and consequences of having another abortion, Jessie had called two abortion clinics and had a pregnancy test taken at one of them. Jessie asked God to help her decide what to do. When she came to the PCC, the Client Advocate listened carefully to Jessie’s concerns, and shared information and resources to help her sort out her conflicted feelings. Jessie listened thoughtfully when the Client Advocate informed her that open adoption would be a good alternative if she thought she could not afford another child.
After several days, Jessie returned to the PCC clinic with her mother, for an ultrasound. When they saw the baby and noticed its heart beating, Jessie had a flashback to the ultrasounds she had of her other babies. Jessie told the nurse she would definitely carry and keep this new baby. She was happy with her choice—no more conflicted feelings.
A couple of weeks before her baby girl was due, Jessie came in for material assistance. She had been in and out of the hospital with contractions, so there was no time for a baby shower. Thanks to generous donors, the PCC gave her a stroller, bassinet, bath tub as well as clothes, blankets, diapers, wipes, lotion, bottles, bibs, socks, crib sheets and bath towels. She was entered on the list for a crib, and the PCC was able to give her one when the baby was 3 months old. Now, we get to see Jessie, her baby girl and her other kids once a month when she returns for diapers and other supplies. She looks a little tired, but very happy with her young beautiful family!
Feelings & Thoughts Evolve
I am so overwhelmed and scared. I might be pregnant. I’m in a new relationship with a wonderful man. I have two older kids; their father abandoned me.
I need to know if I am really pregnant. Three at-home pregnancy tests tell me that I am – but they could be wrong. If I am pregnant I’m too afraid to have another abortion. The abortion I had a few years ago was a really bad experience. But can I have another son/daughter? How will my boyfriend feel about a baby? I am so overwhelmed.
So, I Googled for answers on the internet and I found the Pregnancy Counseling Center. I came here to have an accurate clinical pregnancy test. The test is positive. Now I know for sure, but my thoughts and feelings are still a whirlwind. The nurse invites me to come back in two weeks for an ultrasound to make sure the baby is in the right place and to get a better idea of exactly how far along I am.
My boyfriend is so excited about the baby! He came with me to the ultrasound appointment. One of the doctors that the Pregnancy Counseling Center referred me to gave me the vitamins I needed and I feel so much better about everything.
Several months later:
My son is beautiful. I can’t believe I thought about abortion. Yes, we have some financial issues, but people around me love the baby and have stepped in to help with babysitting and more. The staff and volunteers at the Pregnancy Counseling Center were so supportive during my pregnancy, and now that my son is born, they continue to help us with supplies and caring counseling.
What Will Your Story Be
So, you're pregnant and you're panicking. You’re scared, you feel hopeless....you don't want to tell anyone, but you need to tell someone. You're asking yourself all kinds of questions - Will he stay with me? What will my mom say? Will my parents kick me out? Can I finish school? Can I do this?
On the other hand, you're asking yourself - Can I have an abortion? Will we break up? What will my mom & dad think when they find out I had an abortion? Will God forgive me? Will I forgive myself? Will my baby forgive me? You may also be thinking you have a friend who had an abortion - Did she get over it? Is she really OK? Does she regret it? Where do I go? Who can I talk to?
I know all those thoughts and feelings. I was pregnant at 18 years old. I panicked, I had two older sisters who had already had babies out of wedlock...and here I was following in their footsteps. I didn't want to disappoint my mother and be her third daughter not married and pregnant!
That was in 1982, we were told "its not a baby, it's a blob, it's just tissue". Back then I didn't know of any pregnancy counseling centers. I finally told my mom, and much to my surprise she didn't freak out. She told me to take one day at a time....and that's what I did. It was hard and embarrassing, to be pregnant at eighteen and unmarried. People would ask all kinds of questions and then look at me with "that look of disapproval".
Here's the deal - it was very difficult, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend, I didn't get the man or the marriage or the ‘picket fence’....but I did get Matthew! You see, as hard and scary as it was....I didn't die from it! I lived through it, and so did Matt.
So that's my story. What will your story be? What will your baby's story be?
You matter. You are valuable. Please, I'm begging you, be informed. Come into the PCC and ask us any question about abortion, let us give you a free ultrasound to see exactly where you're at, and if the pregnancy is viable. If you're going to make this decision, KNOW what will actually happen!